So on Saturday, I got so fucked up, but it was totally fun. I drank mimosas at my house at like 11am, then went to Dolores with Jesse and drank more champagne and a PBR. Then we did sake bombs at his house while listening to 2 hours of David Cross. Then straight to Pop's. It was still light out. Stayed at Pop's until 2:30 or 3:00 and I will leave it at that.

So, my point is, I am so into not going out this week. I need some time to myself. I have been so wrapped up in not being home that I think I am really hurting myself. I could have ended up in the hospital the other night. I am totally on my own now. I know, I have friends (awesome friends), but when it comes down to it, I am the only person I have to answer to. This is why I'm not good at being single, I need someone to provide some stability in my life. But I need to be single. I must be. I barely have been since I moved here almost 6 years ago.

I feel like I am handling this break up really maturely, in a way. Like, no fighting, no blaming anyone, no hard feelings (I hope), no real issues. Yes, I'm sad. I'm really fucking sad. But it's better than us spending any more time together when neither of us seem into it. We will both be better off sooner or later. I know it is over one hundred percent, and maybe I am forcing myself to move on too fast, but I feel like that's just what I need to do at this point. I guess that maybe I am finally growing up.